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October 1, 2015

thoughts on running

I'm back! But not really.  I'm posting here because this post is basically about running and doesn't seem to fit on Geyens Gone Wild. Before you get too excited, this is NOT a revival of the blog. But for the moment, I have a sleeping baby and a lot of thoughts running (pun intended) through my head so let's get started.

This whole thing started when Athlinks decided to email me about running results they found for me. (I didn't even know I had an Athlinks account. Is it even called Athlinks?) But a quick click led to me my race history. And a reminder that I used to be above average at running (I mean that in the most literal sense of the word average). And that I was working toward becoming good at running.

And then a broken rib happened.
And then a PE happened.
And then I felt overwhelmed by the amount of work it would take to get back, so I let my dreams of being a good runner go.

And now I'm married and have a 5 month old daughter, and it's been about FOUR YEARS since I've run anything resembling a decent finish time, so it certainly is an ironic time for thoughts like running the men's BQ time to be popping in my head. It's ridiculous because I've fallen so far from anything even remotely close to fitness that the amount of work it would take to get back to better than my best would be... impossible?

And then I think of the women who have run their PRs after their babies.
And I think about TCM this weekend, being run in near-perfect weather, and feel something that can only be described as longing.
And I think about how good my body felt on the two "runs" I've done this week. Like with each step my body is saying Where the heck have you been? This is what I am supposed to be doing. even though I was running 10:20 miles and taking walk breaks.

I haven't gotten new running shoes since April 2014.
I can't find a sports bra that will support my giant nursing boobs.
I can't even do a push-up from my toes.
I haven't gotten a solid night's sleep since Ulla was born.
We're coming into a MINNESOTA WINTER.
I don't even remember what a good run feels like.

But my legs remember- muscle memory or something. And I have a husband that didn't laugh when I said It used be my dream to qualify for the Olympic Trials Marathon. Instead, he said something along the lines of Well, you still should! 

So all these thoughts are in my head. I don't know where they will go- probably nowhere- but I thought a good first step would be to write them down here.