if you were here

Joel Jonathon Wagner
Nov. 18, 2004 - Feb. 15, 2008

If you were here, you'd be seven years old today, and we'd be having a party for you... but we know that anything we could offer doesn't compare to all of the heavenly things you have.

If you were here, we'd make you a birthday cake... but we imagine that Oma found some oven in heaven and made you her chocolate one, probably humming the whole time she was baking it.

If you were here, we'd sing Happy Birthday to you, with Daddy using his really deep voice on the last line of the song like he always does, and we'd all be laughing... but it wouldn't sound anything like the heavenly harmonies that you're hearing.

If you were here, we'd sit as you opened presents that you would inevitably break (you're a boy, after all) or outgrow... but the things that entertain you now are beyond our comprehension.

If you were here, you'd wrestle with your brothers and nephews, and you'd be tired and ready for bed before the moon reached it's place in the sky... but we know you're probably helping to the hang stars.

If you were here, Mom would tuck you into bed, rub your hands until you fell asleep, and kiss you goodnight... but now you are in charge of painting the next morning's sunrise for her, with your favorite colors, blue and orange.

But you are not here, and we are... but we all want to be with you. It's no party without you but we're doing our best to celebrate.

As always: We love you. We miss you. We can't wait to see you.

Richmond Marathon- DNS

The Richmond Marathon was run today and I Did Not Start.  Because I had been posting about my training for twelve or so weeks, it only seems appropriate that I'd have some sort of post to conclude what turned out to be one of the more disappointing points in my running life.

I had high hopes in January of this being a good running year for me, setting challenging goals and developing a training plan that I thought would get me there. The road to hell...

Things were going really well for a while but after several weeks of subpar training, getting sick, then getting tackled by a 15 year-old and sustaining an injury that made it difficult to even breathe, my fall marathon dreams disappeared. And while I was disappointed, I was also relieved.

Today was my first run in 23 days. One single lap around Lake of the Isles without my Garmin, not worrying about pace, just enjoying a 63 degree day in Minnesota on November 12th.

It was a good run.

where i'm at tonight

Learning to get comfortable in limbo with homemade mac & cheese, wine and this song playing in the background.





Slightly obsessed with the entire Cities 97 Sampler.

limbo

No, this post isn't about this...

... but more about how I feel like my entire life is in limbo.

Between the change at work two weeks ago and some stuff going on in a few personal relationships (romantic(!), family, etc.), I'm feeling extremely unsettled. Is it normal to want to move someplace completely new and start 100% over? Am I the only one that ever thinks about that?

It would appear that my affinity for running spills over into many areas of my life.


Image from here.

sad face

This came in the mail today.

It's been two weeks since I've run and ten days since I've even attempted to break a sweat.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen.